BLECK! I did not like October, like at all.
It was a difficult month for me financially. I just could not seem to get ahead in-spite of a very generous donation I received at the beginning of the month.
With that donation, I was able to pay off two smaller credit cards completely, buy my children some clothing for the winter months and catch my phone bill up. Thank you very much for that donation, it meant the world to me that you cared enough to help out.
Unfortunately, after that things went down hill. I’m just not bringing in enough money to pay the minimums on my credit cards as well as put gas into my car and spend money on the little things that pop up during the month. How I made it this far, is beyond my understanding.
Unfortunately for me, October ended on a sour note; my checking account was overdrawn by about $200. Once the money was deposited into my account, I was still overdrawn. I was assessed 4 NSF fees of $34. My bank was kind enough to credit $70 back to me as a once a year courtesy but can not do anything more for me. My checking account sits at -$11.87 with no money coming in until around the 20th of the month.
The reality of this is making me sick to my stomach. I am so disappointed in myself.
Before I go further, let me show you where the debt is as of today November 4, 2010.
November 2010
Item number 5 is marked Chase 1 but it no longer belongs to Chase. It was sold to third party collection agency and charged off as a bad debt by Chase. I currently have a payment plan in place with this third party for monthly payments which began on October 30th.
As of today, I am no longer making any payments on my credit cards until I do one of three things. 1. Get a job. 2. Decide to file bankruptcy. or 3. Come up with some sort of alternate debt reduction plan of my own.
Because I am so adamant about paying for my debt, I do not want to file bankruptcy. I truly believe that I should pay every penny I owe plus the interest. It may take me 10 or 15 years but I should pay for it. I filed bankruptcy when I was 23 and look where it got me? I didn’t learn my lesson. I want to learn my lesson this time. I don’t feel like I should be able to walk away from it.
The third choice I put up there is what I’m leaning towards right now. I will just pay on one card at a time even if it means added finance charges and late fees and higher interest rates. I will pay what I can pay until the card is paid off and then I will move on to the next one. It’s all I can do right now.
So here is what my new debt reduction plan is going to look like:
I have to pay on the Dell account every single month. That account is in my mother’s name and I can not harm her credit. I have already missed a payment this month and will be assessed a late fee, I just can’t let that happen again.
The Chiropractor is ok with $10.00 a month and I’m going to set that up to continue coming out of my account each month.
I will then focus on paying the next bill in full. That is my Fifth Third Mastercard. The balance is relatively small and hopefully I can chip away at it quickly by making a bit more than the minimum.
The remaining accounts will have to wait until such time as I have a job and can pay more. As I stated, I do not want to file bankruptcy. This is my last attempt at paying my bills without filing. It means my phone will be ringing all day every day from creditors but it is what it is.
I’m going to be more diligent about my budget as well. As of today, I am going to begin to track every single penny I spend. I will be posting that here on a weekly basis. Maybe it will help keep me accountable. Maybe it will show me (or others) where I’m making mistakes. I know you can’t stretch $465 a month very far but we’ll see what I can do.
The greeting cards don’t seem to be selling as well as I’d have hoped they would so I’m not bringing in as much money as I had hoped but if they do take off in the next month, that’d be superb. (so if you need totally inappropriate Greeting Cards, head over to the store at http://omgseriously.etsy.com and buy a set or 5. PLEASE!).
I have tossed this around for months on how to do this and have had a donation button posted on my other blog before but I never know how to approach this so I’m just going to lay it out there. Many people have offered to help and many have helped. Some feel like they can’t do much good because my situation is so dire. But I’ve been living where I have for two years and tackling this debt head on for more than six months. I haven’t gotten very far. Maybe it’s going to take a bunch of small “somethings” to get me somewhere better. If you think you can spare a little “something” and would like to send it this way, I would be so grateful.
I’ve seen blogs where families who are adopting ask for donations freely. They hold cyber bake sales and fund-raise in their community for the money to go around the world to adopt. I’m not trying to do anything that great. I’m just trying to keep myself and my two young boys above water. I just want the three of us to have a life outside of this cycle of debt that I have created.
It may be embarrassing to others to ask for help but I’m not going to listen to them. I have family members who think I should be ashamed of myself and part of me is very ashamed. The other part is just desperate. Desperate to make changes. Desperate to provide a better life for them. Desperate to repair what my ex-husband and I started and what I am left with.
So I’m going to take a page from Karyn Bosnak of Save Karyn and ask for a few bucks from you fine readers. If you can spare something then please send it my way. If you can’t then don’t worry, I’m not offended. If you think I’m an idiot, cool. If you think I’m an idiot and you feel like you should let me know that, well keep that to yourself and go read another blog, try this one. If you are a blogger or a company or have something to promote then consider a sponsorship.
So there you have it; a two fer. Two blog posts in one long-drawn-out post.
DP – I’m going to go hide out in my bed and only peek out occasionally until I can decide if this was a good idea or incredibly stupid of me.
If you are so inclined to donate, there is a button at the bottom of this page. Thank you again, I’m humbled by the simple act of asking.
